How to set up a goal setting process that actually works

How to set up a goal setting process that actually works

Yes, this blog is about goal setting again! It's part of my mini-series about change.  But don't freak out! And don't go away!  I’m not repeating the same old stuff you’ve already seen many times the first week of this new year.

Most people think that goal setting is all about thinking what they want to accomplish this year. Then, write it down, and work backwards to create mini goals to make them actionable. Well yes. . . sort of. . . That's part of it. But the problem is that people work at this backwards. That's the last part. So, stay with me and things will become clear. 

Read More
Comment

Only 8% of people are successful at change. Are you one of them?

Only 8% of people are successful at change. Are you one of them?

Let me guess: You want to lose weight in 2018, or just eat healthier. Perhaps you want to spend less money or spend more time with your friends and family. Maybe you want to stop screaming and have a closer relationship with your partner instead. Whatever it is, Self-improvement, or at least the desire for it, is a shared American hobby.

Estimates say more than 40% of Americans make New Year's resolutions.  But for all the good intentions, only a tiny fraction keep their resolutions. University of Scranton research suggests that just  8% of people achieve their New Year's goals.

You can be included on that 8%. This blogs explains how.

Read More
Comment

The Greatest Gift

The Greatest Gift

Do you remember what was the greatest gift you ever got? Dr. Ada tells about her greatest gift and shares a poem.

Read More
Comment

Are you committed to change?

Are you committed to change?

Many people seek me because they want to change. Yet, not all of them are ready to change. Even the words you use when talking about change can have an impact on how ready you are to change and with being successful with change. Your vocabulary impacts your attitudes and actions. When it comes to change, words can make a huge difference. 

Most people are not really committed to change. They commit just to try. . . And that doesn't work!  

Find out what does work!

Read More
Comment

Me? Do I need to change anything?

Me? Do I need to change anything?

Many times we talk about our desire to change. As the last month of the year progresses, we start taking inventory and thinking about what we need to change in the new year. We go back and forth between wanting to change and dreading the idea of change. You know deep down there are some things you really need to change, but how do you get ready to change? How can you get to that transformation that will signal you have really changed? It's really a lot easier to focus on what your partner needs to change!

Today's blog focuses on how to get ready for change.

Read More
Comment

Why change doesn't work

Why change doesn't work

We are starting the last month of the year. As the year starts unwinding to it’s end, we tend to become more contemplative of our life and work. We take inventory. We weight opportunities. We think about change. . .

Unfortunately, after many years of doing the same, making new resolutions for the new year, and failing at them, many give up on change and on themselves. If you are like them, you think about change, but have come to HATE change. . . or your failure with change. In today's post learn what works.

Read More
Comment

Share Gratitude

Share Gratitude

It’s the time of year in the US when we all remember to give thanks for our many blessings. It’s a good practice. Yet, it seems to me that since gratitude is so powerful and important, designating only one day a year to giving thanks is not enough!  

Find out why it's important to share gratitude every day.

Read More
Comment

Affection: The key to feeling you are "in love"

Affection: The key to feeling you are "in love"

I bet when you were dating you could hardly keep your hands off each other. Any time you saw each other was a great opportunity for (at least) hugs and kisses. Yet, many of the couples that seek my services for relationship coaching hardly touch each other anymore. They barely look up from their games or electronic gadgets, or from their work, when the other walks in or out. How sad! No wonder they tell me they are not "in love" anymore! Want to feel in love again? The key is to express more affection, both emotionally and physically. Today we are going to talk about the physical side of expressing affection.

Read More
Comment

Hope. . . good or bad?

Hope. . . good or bad?

Hope is one of those words that brings a lot of good feelings. When people become hopeless they get depressed, “lose heart,” “give up.” Some even want to die. No case of suicide has ever happened because the person had too much hope. Without hope you don’t take action on anything, much less tackle change. Hope get you up in the morning. As a couple, hope makes you stay together, strategize and act upon your dreams and goals. 

So hope is good. . . right? Well. . . kind of. . . You see, hope can also derail you. . .

Read More
Comment

Celebrate your differences!

Celebrate your differences!

I love fall! Every year I revel in the striking beauty that is autumn. We are just starting the season and I'm already anticipating what is to come: the glorious colors displaying nature’s color palette, enhanced by the sunlight. The deep reds, the vibrant oranges, the lively yellows, the array of greens, and the earthy browns formed a collage of colors showing a bountiful variety. Together they demonstrated the beauty of fall.What do the colors of fall have to do with your relationships?

On this blog I share how differences can be celebrated instead of becoming a source of conflict and negativity. 

Read More
Comment

Are you "hard of listening?"

Are you "hard of listening?"

Some people are hard of hearing, but many more are hard of listening. In this blogpost you will find out why!

Read More
Comment

Does Your Relationship Needs Urgent Repair? Save Your Relationship!

Does Your Relationship Needs Urgent Repair? Save Your Relationship!

Relationships can be messy. Many couples get in a negative spiral that has taken them so deeply down that they have lost hope. If you are one of these people, keep reading. This post is especially for you.

Read More
Comment

Don't Open Your Mouth!

Don't Open Your Mouth!

We have the ability to communicate our thoughts in real time. We don’t need to plan what we’re going to say beforehand. That is great when we are brainstorming, or when there is an emergency and we need to issue a warning. It can be a problem when what we say on the spur of the moment is something we later wish we had either not said, or said differently.

Read More
Comment

7 Simple Summer ideas for strengthening your relationship

7 Simple Summer ideas for strengthening your relationship

You can’t force your relationship to be better or change the other person. But, there are things you can do which can help your relationship improve and stay healthy. Here are 7 simple ideas that can be helpful. Hopefully these will spark your creativity and you can add many more to enjoy over the Summer months.

Read More
Comment

Reclaiming Intimacy: 5 Pointers for more satisfaction

Reclaiming Intimacy: 5 Pointers for more satisfaction

One of the recurrent issues couples complain about is diminishing intimacy. And by that, they usually mean less time, frequency, and satisfaction with their sexual life. Today I want to give you a few ideas for rekindling your intimacy.

Read More
Comment

3 Common communication mistakes that hurt your relationship

3 Common communication mistakes that hurt your relationship

Many couples have communication problems. Here are the three most common mistakes couples make.

Read More
Comment

How to keep your Joy in the midst of the holiday craze

How to keep your Joy in the midst of the holiday craze

Seven simple and short suggestions for making your life easier during the holidays.

Read More
Comment

What to do when things are not going your way

What to do when things are not going your way

It's easy to be happy when things are going your way. But what to do when they are not? Is it ok to mope, make a tantrum, say hurtful things, or stop talking for a week?  

Read More
Comment

Is your smartphone harming your relationships?

Is your smartphone harming your relationships?

Just how much does technology interferes with your relationship? Today’s smartphones enables you to constantly be in contact with everyone, with the office, and access the Internet or the cloud for needed information on the fly. That's good, right?

"It depends" is the answer.

Constant and easy access to technology can often overwhelm the positives and make these devices harmful to your relationships and life. More and more texts, tweets, FaceBook messages, and Candy Crush or other games tend to crowd your time together.

Today I'm going to share how devices can be harmful not only to your relationships, but also to your health.  Then I will offer some tips on how to use your smartphone to your advantage, instead of to your detriment.

Read More
Comment

Try this month the power of two little words: "Thank You"

Try this month the power of two little words: "Thank You"

There are two simple words that are so powerful it amazes me they are not used more often. The two words are “Thank You.”  I want to challenge you to use them more frequently this month.

Read More
Comment